People need to stop trying to divide tears into categories. We seem to think that there are happy tears and then there are sad tears, and they must be one or the other. Are there people who are only sad or only happy? Obviously not. Our emotions are so complex that you really can’t label them most of the time, but we still try to.
If I cry because I am laughing, that doesn’t make it a tear of happiness. There’s still that little part of me inside wondering why I can laugh so hard that I cry, but I can’t sob until I fall asleep when I really want to. I need some closure. I have things caged up inside of me- friends that I miss, stress, heartache- that I need to let out somehow, and each day I don’t cry makes me wonder more and more if I might burst into tears at an I opportune moment in the future.
Even “sad tears” can be good, and we even see them as good for us- as long as they stay on our schedule. No random bouts of crying, because that signifies weakness, and no one wants to be weak! We’d rather be stone pillars than human beings, except we’d never make good columns, since we can’t hold up anything other than ourselves.
When you see someone crying, do you think they are weak?
I don’t. I don’t even see them as vulnerable; rather, I feel honored that they trust me enough to show me the raw emotion they experience. There is something touching about seeing that someone is so comfortable around you, and there’s something intimate about crying together.
I feel almost guilty when I can’t cry for someone’s pain.
I’ve never been one of those people who can make themselves cry.