Dealing with Inadequacy

I want to take a hammer
And smash the time zones apart
find a recipe to heal our hearts
scour the edges of the earth until they sparkle
so that maybe there’s something good to see on the horizon
I want to grab a map
And fold it until you’re next to me,
two little dots, inches away,
longing to brush against one another
Sixteen little souls, miles and miles between,
wishing to glimpse one another
I want to walk the state lines like they’re sidewalk curbs-
equal parts nervousness and pretending-
until I’m at the curb of your house
I’ll find it somehow
and I can see you again
Then.
I’m going to find the guy who made you cry
tell him exactly what you’re imagining me saying
because nobody messes with my friends

But I can’t.
The edges of the earth remain murky and unreachable
An inch is still a thousand miles apart
My parents always said to get off of the curbs
lest I fall and break an ankle
and your house remains hidden amid the fog

We seem so free,
but I can’t even leave my life to see you in person
A thousand virtual hugs your way
I’m still holding out, hoping for the day
that I can finally give you a real one

I wrote this poem for my friend Noa Celeste after reading her post “There’s Nothing Like It.” It seems weird to some people, but I cope with life through poetry. Indescribably happy? I write a poem. Upset? Hurt? Lonely? I write a poem. When I’m confused, I write to find my answers. Sometimes, a poem is like this one: a result of feeling powerless.

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4 thoughts on “Dealing with Inadequacy”

  1. i just re-read this and I’m crying… The line “Sixteen little souls, miles and mile between” really got me. Your poetry is beautiful and I miss you and everyone else and well I think right now would be an appropriate time to say/ type GROUP HUG!

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